You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it!

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

9 x 2 = 18 / 1 + 8 = 9

9 x 3 = 27 / 2 + 7 = 9

9 x 4 = 36 / 3 + 6 = 9
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9 x 270 = 2430 / 2 + 4 + 3 = 9

And so on.

Benzene Ferris Wheel.

Welcome to a new series - SG( Satt's Guide...not Singapore silly)


In this installment, we shall look at ways to cope with/beat/utilise the HAZE!

1) Wear an N95 mask. It prevents friendly neighbour-hoody ash/sulphur dioxide/etc from wreaking havoc in your lungs. For those who have no idea(most of you I'm sure) what an N95 mask is, here's how it looks.


But you have to follow the directions carefully, or else the mask may fuse with your body, and cause you to mutate. You would probably end up looking like this.

2) Fans. These would blow the haze away from your homes etc. and you can breathe in cleaner air. A better solution would be to create a petition, requesting the government to install a multitude of fans similar to the one below, along our border.

FYI, this fan is known as the "Wall of Wind" and it produces winds with speeds of up to 185 km/h in addition to biting "rain". It's actually used to study the devastating effects of hurricanes on houses, and can easily tear down a house in a matter of minutes. The important thing is to face the fans the right way - we wouldn't want a "Hurricane Alley" Singapore would we?



3) Kill all tree-burners! The best way to solve the problem is to get to the "root" of it, right? (There's a subtle pun here, but nevermind that) Anyway, if we were to kill them - then there wouldn't be anyone to set the trees on fire right?

No forest fire = no birds being killed = more birds = more luck. Yay. o.O


4) Manufacture weaponry. We could siphon off the smoke and store it in some container. In the event of some random war breaking out, we can easily gas our opponents with fresh neighbour-made haze! Good idea eh? I should be in the MOD man.


5) Don't breathe. If one was not to inhale any air, no harmful respirable particles would enter your lungs. Thus you wouldn't get an 8% increase in the risk of getting lung cancer. But on the other hand, unless you are some Indian yogi who is a pranayama expert, I seriously doubt you are going to survive. The bright side: Whoever is dumb enough to try to asphyxiate themselves deserves to die and not waste our country's precious resources. Thus 1 stone - 2 mangoes!


This concludes the first edition of SG. Stay tuned for more!

Hmm this is post 101. YAY! Haha. Anyway, I have been on a movie watching spree these past few days to make up for what I had missed during school. Watched quite a number of classic movies. But my HTL O-Levels are on Monday o.O And I haven't really done anything about it. But who cares - it's just MT, nothing really hard about it. But I have to at least do some exercises so as to not lose touch. I can't get anything less than an A1, if not it'll be damn jack 'coz my sister got an A1.

On another note, there are only 8 days before the end of my secondary school life. I think everyone will miss RI - but the extent depends on how next year turns out. Well you never know how much you miss something, until it's gone. Eeeks, this sounds so ....

Matriculation Day is tmrw. My choice is going to be BCME but I'm undecided about KI. Some people still haven't decided what they are gonna do - think fast and well people!


Random haze-related quotes

"Eh I think Jimi Hendrix sang 'Purple Haze' last time, because they burnt purple trees then" (Taufiq)

Q: What is the easiest way to preserve your salmon now? A: Leave it out in the open; you'll get smoked salmon" (A great visionary)

Q: What's the sound tree-burners make when they sigh? A: Haiz( Haze)

Q: What do you call the indonesian pollution dispersal disposal squad A: HAZ(e)MAT

Q: Which terrorist group created the haze? A: Haze-bollah

Q: How do evil tree-burners laugh? A: Muahahahahaze

Q: What kind of phone to tree-burners use? Motorola Hazr

-.-

EXPLETIVE ALERT


Fuckers should know when to keep their stinkin' traps shut. Don't go talking about shit that you don't know about. You aren't gonna get fucking payback. You fucking don't know the consequences of your actions, do you? You totally make me sick to the core. Don't try to go all Freud-like on people, 'coz you are just a loser. Behave like a dude, and not like some airhead blonde bimbo beatch. I have already divined you true character behind all that layers of mummy-wrapping. You are nothing more than a piece of shrivelled up meat and I do not like your actions one bit. Change or screw off, you waste of oxygen!

YES! COMMON TESTS ARE OVER! WOOTZ! Ok, don't mind that enthusiastic ourburst - haha. Well, for one - I do not have any more dumb CTs as I'm getting outta Sec 4. Wooohoo!! Papers weren't too shabby - but would have to wait for marks to be fully reassured. Now, I can slack! YES! And do whatever I had wanted to do. Stay Tuned! :D

After Tamil Class today, the tamil dudes went to play soccer. And by my estimates the PSI must have been 100+ or thereabouts. The haze was quite bad, but there were already a gazillion people playing soccer on the astro. It was quite fun, though tiring as the haze made breathing hard and the heat was not letting up. Who cares, even if your risk of getting lung cancer goes up by 8%. Haha. Risky business.

After soccer, Kannan, Arun and me went to watch The Prestige. Whoever gave it just a four should die. It deserves at least a 4.5. And if someone like Arun said it, it was indeed good. Haha. The screenplay was superb; it always kept you on your feet. You have to think along with the director, if not you'll be left scratching your head. Pick up on all the subtle clues - it's part of the experience. The acting by Christian Bale is commendable - as usual. He is one of my favourite film actors actually, haha. But one thing I didn't really like was the extensive focus on the obsessions of the characters. It reduces the depth of the work to some extent. But everyone should go catch it. Be warned though, it is not a MI:3 kinda adrenaline-rush providing movie. So if you are looking for nail-biting action, look elsewhere. This is a film for the appreciative movie buff.