Welcome to a new series - SG( Satt's Guide...not Singapore silly)


In this installment, we shall look at ways to cope with/beat/utilise the HAZE!

1) Wear an N95 mask. It prevents friendly neighbour-hoody ash/sulphur dioxide/etc from wreaking havoc in your lungs. For those who have no idea(most of you I'm sure) what an N95 mask is, here's how it looks.


But you have to follow the directions carefully, or else the mask may fuse with your body, and cause you to mutate. You would probably end up looking like this.

2) Fans. These would blow the haze away from your homes etc. and you can breathe in cleaner air. A better solution would be to create a petition, requesting the government to install a multitude of fans similar to the one below, along our border.

FYI, this fan is known as the "Wall of Wind" and it produces winds with speeds of up to 185 km/h in addition to biting "rain". It's actually used to study the devastating effects of hurricanes on houses, and can easily tear down a house in a matter of minutes. The important thing is to face the fans the right way - we wouldn't want a "Hurricane Alley" Singapore would we?



3) Kill all tree-burners! The best way to solve the problem is to get to the "root" of it, right? (There's a subtle pun here, but nevermind that) Anyway, if we were to kill them - then there wouldn't be anyone to set the trees on fire right?

No forest fire = no birds being killed = more birds = more luck. Yay. o.O


4) Manufacture weaponry. We could siphon off the smoke and store it in some container. In the event of some random war breaking out, we can easily gas our opponents with fresh neighbour-made haze! Good idea eh? I should be in the MOD man.


5) Don't breathe. If one was not to inhale any air, no harmful respirable particles would enter your lungs. Thus you wouldn't get an 8% increase in the risk of getting lung cancer. But on the other hand, unless you are some Indian yogi who is a pranayama expert, I seriously doubt you are going to survive. The bright side: Whoever is dumb enough to try to asphyxiate themselves deserves to die and not waste our country's precious resources. Thus 1 stone - 2 mangoes!


This concludes the first edition of SG. Stay tuned for more!